Raging Hormones? Maybe

I don't recall having much problem with the stereotypical raging hormones of a pregnant woman last time around. Except for when I went into labor --well, I was induced-- and something about that really knocked me off kilter. Maybe it was the fact that I was basically chained to the bed (I really wanted to be walking around) by the heart monitor on one side of me and the IV pole on the other. Maybe it was the whole drama of getting induced in the first place (I was still a week and a half shy of my due date but there was a bit of an emergency). Maybe it was all those things together. But at one point I looked up at the faces of the entire OB staff who had crowded into my room (naughty me for walking around and having the heart monitor slip off again) and started crying so hard that DH had to speak on my behalf. Then there was the incident in the hospital after the birth when I spent an entire morning crying, but that's a whole other story.

Today, however, I surprised myself by bawling my eyes out over a seemingly trivial incident. Nobody at DS's nursery had told me that they were having a harvest festival, that he was supposed to bring a basket of fruits and a pudding snack, that he was supposed to wear a white shirt. He was the only kid in blue. I don't know why but I care so much about these events. The staff could see that I was upset and they promised to dig up a shirt for him, to share fruits from other kids, and to provide him with pudding. I believed them. But still I had to run out of there before they could see my eyes filling with tears. Maybe it was my gratitude. Maybe it was the frustration I'd pent up over a traffic incident that happened on my way to drop him off. DH thinks that it was because I felt deprived of things as a child (I disagree). But in any case, by the time I got DH on the phone, I was a blubbering, snozzling, nose-blowing mess. I sat there on my cell phone (than God he was available) with the motor running for a full ten minutes-- I'm normally very careful not to talk for long on the phone so this is a big deal-- and still I didn't feel better. All the way to work I had tears running down my face. I finally allowed myself to acknowledge that perhaps I really just do feel strongly about holidays at nursery and not having him feel left out-- though as DH pointed out, he probably didn't even notice. He's really young. I even found pretense to call the nursery and see how things were going a while later. Well, I have to say, I can't attribute the whole incident to logic, therefore it must be at least partly hormonal-driven. I have succumbed. But at least I can recognize it.

Omega Threes, Please

Because of all the Omega 3 hype now, especially for pregnant and nursing women, my husband and I started considering whether or not I should start taking the suppliment. I already take folic acid, iron, and calcium. What's one more pill? Well, one of the main considerations was price. The pre/neo natal omega 3 pills were really really expensive. I couldn't believe it when I saw it. And the way the lady at the pharmacy was pushing them, you'd think I was committing child abuse if I didn't take them. I compared those pills to the cheaper (but still not cheap) generic brand, and indeed, the maternity ones contained twice the amount of Omega 3, not to mention a whole host of other vitamins and minerals. I did a quick consult with my husband on the phone who said to just get the generic ones. After all, I'm probably not getting that much of it in my diet (since I don't eat much fish) so anything will be better than the amount I'm getting now.

I brought the stuff home and when I opened it, I had a surprise. Hey, I thought, isn't this the same as the cod liver oil pills my dad used to make us take when we were younger? It looks the same, smells the same... and I get that same fishy aftertaste. (Have I mentioned that I don't really like fish?) I did a quick search online and apparently the two are related. I wonder if cod liver oil has been caught up in the Omega 3 hype-- or if it's even sold under that name anymore.

I took about 18 doses of the maternity Omega 3 pills in my first pregnancy. That's because my husband brought home a couple of free samples. I can't tell you that they made a difference, but who knows? Today they are packaging the stuff for kids as 'brain suppliments' and stuff like that. Crazy.

Sleep, Precious Sleep

In the first trimester, it's normal to feel exhausted. And boy, did I feel exhausted in the first trimester. Now I am in or nearing the third, and I am suddenly finding myself exhausted again. For the past few nights, I have hardly been able to keep my eyes open past 9pm. It really puts a damper on my evening plans. I can't figure out why this is happening. I mean, it just *might* have to do with getting up at odd hours with the baby, but he slept really well last night-- until 8am, actually! Actually, I had to get up to calm him at 4:30 or so and then had trouble getting back to sleep. That's the problem. Even when he sleeps late, I wake up at his usual time. Still, I don't know if this alone is enough to send me to bed at his bedtime-- around 7pm-- which is really when my body starts begging for pyjamas lately. I hope this passes soon!

Pregnancy Number 2

This pregnancy, pregnancy #2 is definitely harder than the last one was. In my first pregnancy, I felt pretty much myself (we're talking after the first trimester here). It was me plus belly and nothing really got in the way of what I was used to doing.

This time around, in my second pregnancy, the weariness comes and goes. It's hard for me to climb the stairs sometimes. Sometimes it's hard to walk up hills. These aren't things I experienced last time. Last time, I did have sciatic pain. But I didn't waddle. This time, oh boy-- do I ever waddle. I'm embarrassed to walk sometimes.

Road Trip

Talk about a speed bump. We (DH, DS and I) took a spontaneous road trip to the desert last week. I don't know if it was the strange and abundant food that we were served at the hotel, or the sudden onset of actual exercise that I suddenly inflicted on my body or the heat or just being away from home, but things changed.

I mean, you expect that your kid's sleeping or eating schedule will be affected by a change in routine, but not until after it's born.

Constipation is a common complaint of pregnant women but in all of my first and so far in my 2nd pregnancy it hasn't been a problem. Frequent and small urination is another symptom but again, it didn't affect me. All of a sudden I was suffering from both these ailments.

Most worrisome was that on about the second afternoon of our trip I noticed that the baby hadn't been kicking-- or hardly at all. This is a VERY kicky baby. Whenever I stop to pay attention, it's doing a little jig. And all of a sudden, all I was feeling was a mellow little yawn from deep in my abdomen. And that's after sitting and waiting to feel some movement.

I didn't worry too much about it. Maybe it was just crowded in there with all the (ahem) excess excrement that wasn't getting excreted. In any case, the day after we got back home, I was totally back to normal. The fetus was doing it's sports routine and I was (ahem) doing mine.

Inflation

I went to the pool again yesterday. That's where I weigh myself. I'm up to 73 kilos. Couldn't believe my eyes. That's more than I gained my whole 1st pregnancy, and I still have 2 months left to go on this one. I'm feeling it too. I looked down at my legs the other day, which are usually chicken-thin. They had bulk. They had substance. And it's not edema. It's... did you know you can gain weight on your legs? I guess if I think about really heavy people they have a lot more flesh on their legs.
In the mirror when I got dressed I reminded myself of one of those Russian Babushka dolls-- the kind with all the little dolls inside. I don't have a proper full-length mirror at home, which is maybe fortunate for my self-image lately. What I saw was a tiny head on top and big and sturdy on the bottom (wouldn't want the doll to fall over.) I was wearing a full skirt and a scarf in my hair, which only helped encourage my imagination. I was only missing the frilly apron. Hey, I even have the little doll inside. A coincidence? I think not.

Baby Bump Part II

I've mentioned before how much I hate the term 'baby bump'. It makes pregnancy sound like some kind of fashion trend. And indeed, it has been that, at least amongst celebrities, for the past year or two-- or so it seems. I don't even own a television and I've noticed that the latest must-have items can be found in the maternity section. We all know what happens when a celebrity popularizes something. There are people who will go right out and try to get the same thing for themselves. Now, when it comes to copying designer fashions, those who can get their hands on it will do so and those who won't will buy fakes... whatever. No harm done. But when it comes to getting a baby bump, the only way to do it is by getting a baby inside of you, and that's when things start to get complicated. I'm willing to bet that there will be some neglected Anglelas and Heidis and Jennifers walking around in a couple of years.

Baby bump is so demeaning. You can feel 'cute' when you're pregnant, and you can feel 'beautiful' or you can feel just the opposite. Women don't need the pressure of the Hollywood industry to define how they should act, feel, and dress at this very sensitive point in their lives. Learning to accept the changes to your body and life are hard enough without the intrusion of Vogue expectations.

An ounce of prevention is worth...

I read recently somewhere that Heidy Klum typically gains 40 lbs in each pregnancy. The books and doctors all reccomend 25-35. Maybe she's a little bigger than the rest of us (that's why they call them super-models. ) but that's still off the charts.
Then today I read that Mila Jorovich (sp.?) went up 75 lbs when she was pregnant!!! She was nearly 200lbs when she gave birth. Nobody told her about being alowed to continue physical activity through her pregnacy, I guess. Can you imagine? She must have been a house (as opposed to a whale like me).
All I want to say is that if supermodels and actresses (what does Mila do for a living again?) get to go up that high, I have nothing to worrry about.

Baby Bump

I hate that expression-- baby bump. It's all the rage now. You want to stop teenage pregnancies? Don't make them sound so damn cute and desirable. Thinking of getting pregnant? Think risk of stretch marks, increased risk of losing bladder control. Think nausea and aches and pains. What 16 year-old wants that?
And it's not just the 'bump.' It's more like a bumper. It throws you off balance. It makes other parts of your body bulge. Your hips spread wider...
Look, it's for a good purpose and frankly, I had a great pregnancy last time and a pretty good one this times so far. But to make it sound as if a baby bump is the next hottest thing on the runway then they should just start making burp cloths and nursing aprons in Home Ec.

My Secret Birthing Plan

My last birthing experience was below par, I'd have to say.
I mean, at the end of the day, it went well. The baby came out, I made it out too... but it was a pretty shaky ride. I was induced a week and a half early due to complications and the baby just wasn't interested in making an appearance.
The hospital staff didn't know what to make of me-- a patient who doesn't blindly take their advice and quietly lie strapped down in the bed under the weight of various monitors and IVs. I think I kicked (or tried to kick) the entire staff out of my delivery room at least once. You'd think they'd be used to hormonal women, but they all seemed kind of shocked. They were nice enough and definitely knowledgeable but I never really want to see them again. Not that they'd recognize my face, probably.
Anyway, as a result of that artificial labor and delivery, I have decided that, barring all complications, I will labor at home until the last possible moment. I don't want to be around anyone except for maybe DH (but he'll want to rush me to the hospital at teh earliest possible moment) and maybe DS but of course he is too young to undersand what's going on and I don't want to scare him. I just want to have the minimum intervention possible. I don't want to be checked and monitored and prodded. I don't want to be ultrasounded. I don't want my membranes busted for me. I don't want to be told not to eat.
My biggest fear of birthing was having a C-section but then my friend just had one, and she's convinced it was a better way to go, overall. I'm not totally convinced, but she did help me relax about it a bit. If it comes down to that, and I hope it doesn't, then I'm going to ask them to install a ziploc or a zipper instead of stiches. V-BACs are so iffy and complicated. Why not just take advantage and make subsequent births simpler?

Already Ahead of the Curve

I was just reading some forum postings about people whose ultrasounds don't necessarily correlate to how old they think the baby is, and I forgot until now that it's exactly what I thought at fist.

Apparently getting an ultrasound before 12 weeks is the very best way to measure the baby's age. Also, they count the weeks based on your period, which feels wrong but I guess turns out more or less right more or less of the time. I mean, so far things are staying on the track they told me I'd be on.

I want to win this diaper bag

I want to win this diaper bag and one of the ways to do it is blog about the contest with a link, so here goes:

Eh. Feh.
http://www.thriftyandchicmom.com/2009/03/wisey-giveaway.html#comment-form

Let's see if there is another contest. I'm into contests. Let's see if the site owners send me something nice for free. I love nice free things.

I also want their other diaper bag-- I think it's called the Mommy's diaper bag or Ultimate by Wiseys. It's the one that can also convert to a backpack. I don't know if it totally lives up to my standards (they are high) because NO SITE has good details about this product, but the photos look pretty darn close to what I want.

2nd Baby: Siblings-To-Be

I was having a conversation with my coworker today about second pregnancies and firstborn children. She says that jealousy and some element of trauma are unavoidable. This is just what I'm afraid of.

My DS is so young. I've been trying to explain to him about this huge event that is about to take place in his life in a few weeks, but I'm not sure how much he's picking up on it. Then again, kids his age just absorb and absorb and you don't even realize what sponges they are until they surprise you one day by demonstrating that they've been paying attention all along. So I'm trying to soften the blow by starting to break the news to him now.

He is very intersted in my growing belly. He has definitely noticed something up with it. I tell him "you know what's in Mamma's belly? A baby! You know what's in your belly? Cheerios!" (which is usually the case.) I also say "One day I'm going to bring you home a baby. Do you want a baby?" He knows what babies are-- mostly from pictures. He can identify them, anyway. So I'm hoping he'll be excited when this new arrival shows up in his life.

The word 'trauma' is a large one, and it can be understood at many different levels. Trauma is necessary for growth. Look at it that way. Trauma can take different forms. So yes, when I bring home the new baby there will inevitably be some changes at home, but I've got to remember that even if it is difficult for him at first, it's better for him (and us all) in the long run. Like letting him cry a bit at bedtime. Right? Tell me I'm right.

Ring Update

Okay, my rings are coming off just fine now. It was just a scare.

Ring

Ohmigod. I could barely get my ring off last night. Then I was afraid of losing it so I stuck it on my other hand-- figured it was just a nighttime slight swell. Now this morning also can't get it off... barely. This only happened at the very very end of my last pregnancy.

The Best and Worst Times To Shop

The worst time to go grocery shopping, as we all know, is when you're hungry. Hunger can cause you to make decisions that you wouldn't normally make at the supermarket. One solution to this problem, by the way, is to just open up a package of whatever the first thing is that you're craving and eat it right then and there (and of course pay for the package on your way out). Another way to avoid this problem is to carry a shopping list and stick to it. Easier said than done.

Now, the best time to go shopping is just after someone agrees with you when you complain that you've been putting on weight a little too quickly. In this case, it was my obstetrician. When I told him how much weight I gained (about 11 kilo or 23 lbs and I'm in the middle of my second trimester), he gave me a little smile and said "well, you're only supposed to go up about 13 kilos, so you don't have that much more to go." I don't think he meant it in an encouraging way.

I went to the grocery store immediately afterwords and bypassed the huge sale on store-brand canola oil (which was, in fact, on my shopping list) opting instead for the high quality, low retention, omega 3 enriched stuff. I also lingered by and then forewent the incredible sale on the juice I always drink, figuring that I'd be better off with water. But that compulsion only lasted a few more aisles. Then I stocked up. We can't serve ONLY water when we have guests, right?

I told DH about what happened and we talked a bit about BMI and what the numbers really mean. I told him that I'm just getting over the feeling of being fat. I think that my belly has grown a little but my weight remained stable, which has contributed to a somewhat more pleasing distribution of surface area on my body. And I don't REALLY look fat. My face hasn't exploded in roundness. Just a little. The thing about pregnancy is that you just never know. You never can tell what is due to overeating and what is just baby. So we go by the standards and the numbers and, depending on our personalities, we either forgive ourselves or we don't. (I'm of the first school, usually.) Time will tell if the weight gain was a healthy one or not. Or there are also some people whose bodies have a genetic tendency to spread and stay that way after childbirth. We shall see.

In any case, it's about three hours later and I'm sitting here, stuffing my face with marshmallows. I guess the diet was short lived, but at least I bypassed those brownies at the store.

Waddle Waddle

I caught myself waddling the other day.
It's happened a few times since then, but I just want to state my defense: It wasn't the typical "I'm so pregnant that I can't carry the weight" kind of waddle, though the unpracticed observer-- okay, all observers might have trouble telling the difference. My waddle was due to sciatic nerve pain. I get pain in the tuches sometimes, especially after sitting in one place for a while. It's the worst when I look at the clock and realize that I have exactly three minutes to lock up my office, grab the elevator, and run out the door and down the street about a hundred feet to catch the one and only bus that will get me to the daycare on time to pick up my son. I missed it once a couple of weeks ago (fortunately DH was on break that day so he solved the problem) and yesterday it the doors started to shut and it started to move away from me as I was still about 10 feet behind it. I shouted 'wait wait!' and he did. But man, did the effort take a lot out of me.

I have a policy about running for the bus: don't do it. It always leaves me feeling rather ill lately. However, this policy only works in the morning rush hour when there are plenty of buses going my way. By the time I leave the office at about twelve thirty, the flow has tapered down significantly. In fact, I was lucky to discover this one private bus company that does a run down to near where I need to go at more or less when I need it. Otherwise I'd be having to leave work early every time I didn't have the car. It can really add up since I get paid hourly.