Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Having Another?

Is it rude to comment on how close --or far, for that matter-- people's children are spaced? I have definitely done it, but I think it has to be in the right context like, for instance, amongst friends. For example, I know people who have had or are having a hard time getting pregnant. But I guess the question there would be why they are waiting so long to have kids and not why they are spread out. I know that when people comment on how close my kids are (twenty-one months is not THAT close), they often do it with sympathy. Like, 'wow, that must be tough.' I guess it's tough. Certainly, I have almost no personal time, which accounts for how often I get to blog lately.
There have been times when I asked someone about the spacing of their children and wished I could have taken it back. Sometimes it's better not to know.

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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Pregnant or Not So Pregnant

This doesn't strictly belong in this blog, but I thought it would be interesting to readers who are looking for posts on body image and pregnancy.

I ran into a girl I haven't seen around for a few years. She's always been a heavyish girl. She got really big after she got married and had baby one and two. We talked a little bit about what we've each been up to. She was lookng pretty much the same as last time I saw her. Then she let the bomb drop. Something about "with this baby..." while indicating her stomach. I know she noticed the look of shock that crossed my face. Even though I now knew she was pregnant, she didn't look pregnant to me. Especially the advanced stages that she'd just confessed to. She simply looked like her regular heavy self. She was wearing a winter coat but it was open. Maybe that's what was hiding her maternal shape. I tried to cover it up without starting at her belly. "You look great!" I said (I meant it too). And I tried to change the subject. I think it worked. But it's not the first time that I made a pregnant or just recently birthed mom faux pas. By my count it's the fourth. I've had some real doozies.
But this incident made me wonder-- did she get pregnant five years after her last child because she lost weight? Is her heaviness now all baby or is it just not popping that much? I don't dare ask.

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