Highs and Lows

For most of this pregnancy, my stomach was so high that my boobs rested on it if I sat slouchily-- which I have been known to do. A couple of weeks ago my stomach suddenly dropped, much to DH's concern. I look much smaller now. But now the tummy is resting on my lap!

I don't remember such a dramatic change happening in my previous pregnancies. Well, they say that each one is unique and each of mine have definitely been different from each other.

One thing that is consistent from the last pregnancy to this one is that my face has grown fat now towards the end. SORRY-- I mean, I have filled out. Don't want to cause angst to any first time pregolas reading this blog (assuming anyone reads it). Don't worry, it's just water (or chocolate) and it'll go away as soon as the baby is born.

Showing Whom?

We finally told our families last week about the pregnancies. My mother-in-law, who is pissed at me for a related argument, retreated to the kitchen and muttered things about 'I told you so.'
Oh, the way we did it was that we handed my 3 year-old DS the ultrasound picture and he was to hand it to her. Which he did. She looked at it and handed it to her housekeeper/friend who said 'oh, this is (my niece's) old ultrasound. It's been around for 3 years." I told her to look closer. And she did... The truth eventually came out. We had family over from out of town and everyone was assembled at my in-laws. Everyone came and congratulated me and gave kisses and things. Bleh. Congratulate me when it comes out. For now just back off an hope I don't barf on you. Oh, and order me non raw sushis.
I would have preferred launching the news with a single phone call to each in-law household and then waiting for the news to spread viraly, which it surely would have in ten minutes, maximum. I'm really not one for show-and-tell when it comes to my body. Especially since everyone kept saying 'oh yeah, you're showing!' When just hours before they were saying 'you're so thin.' So much for objectivity. I gave my husband permission to do it this way because the last two pregnancies were announced, I believe, over Skype since we were out of town. I grined, bared it, and then hustled out of there as soon as was respectfully possible. Bleh.

Second Trimester Begins, Sleepiness Continues.

This pregnancy has been way crazier than my last two. I am so worn out by the end of the day-- no matter what my day consisted of-- that I'm fast asleep by 9pm. Then I wrench myself out of my son's bed around 10, shuffle to my bed, put my head on the cool pillow 'just for a few minutes' before opening my eyes at 11 or so when I finally give up my idea of folding the laundry. I change into my PJs and officially go to sleep.
I'm already into the second trimester! I'm worried that this pregnancy is going to be worse than my last one during which I was exhausted for the entire period. I don't know if I ever saw midnight.
I shouldn't complain. My nausea is all but gone. I still don't have much of an appetite for things I used to crave, but at least I am not having to deal with the constant feeling of having to throw up. I did have a third barf in the first semester that I didn't write about -- probably because I was sleeping. But that was over 3 weeks ago and I have felt better ever since.

Slowly Moving Forward and Back and One Barf

I finally made a Dr.'s appointment. It's not for another week but that was all I could get. I have no idea how pregnant I actually am. I'm guessing somewhere around 2 months.

I have been doing ok, all things considered. I remember my first two pregnancies-- me falling asleep as I taught an online class and being woken up by my students wondering what was taking me so long to answer their questions. That was P1. Or P2, me, sitting on the couch, completely unable to move for fear that I will aggravate my nausea and having DH bring me carrot sticks, the only thing I could fathom eating. Those are both first trimester stories.

This time things have been pretty mild. I was hovering around somewhere just below normal-- pretty tired, especially after the kid's bedtime when I pretty much crash. Also mildly nauseous but not enough to stop me from doing most things.

That was all true until a couple of nights ago when, after a slightly long car ride with my DH at the wheel, I had no choice but to leave him with the kids and the bags and retreat into bed. I was so nauseous and tired that I just couldn't function. I fell asleep but that didn't stop the nausea. When I awoke a few hours later I sat up in bed and tried to gauge my status. I didn't have to do much guessing. I got that feeling and made for the bathroom. Barf. Hopefully the first and last one of this pregnancy. It didn't even make the nausea go completely away, and it left me feeling completely wiped out, sitting on my son's pee-pee stool and waiting for some external influence to decide my next move. Because I was still nauseous I was afraid to even rinse out my mouth or take a drink or eat anything. I went back to bed and had DH handle all the crying calls from the kids for the rest of the night. At one point DS came over to our bed as he usually does. Usually it's fine but this time he was bouncing around and kicking me in the stomach. Besides a lack of sleep, I felt like I was on a turbulent flight. This was not the recovery scenario I needed.

Because he'd been up so much during the night, I felt like I should get up with the kids in the morning. That's when I finally had some apple juice to soothe my parched mouth. DH replaced me about an hour later and that's when I finally got some rest. When we went out that day, however, I felt really short of breath and found it very difficult to stand. We were in a big-box store and there was nowhere to sit. I found a rolling set of stairs and perched on there for a while. Finally I realized that the reason I wasn't able to get air into my lungs was because my bra was too tight. I haven't worn one since. Thank God the weather is cool enough to wear a bulky sweater.

Having More Soon?

So it's just over six months since wee one was born, and life is just starting to come into order again. Which is probably why people want to know if I'm having another anytime soon. Maybe they ask because of how close my first two are. Which isn't all that close, really.

My answer is usually a very frank "not today." This usually gets people off my case.

Rest assured, dear readers (the multitude of my most faithful) you will be the first to know.

Just don't hold your breath.

If the Skirt Fits

It fits! The skirt that I've been thinking should fit me but hadn't until now... fits! Which means that other clothes that depend on my hip breath should fit too!! Celebrate! My wardrobe and I are reunited. Now if I can only get toned up a bit and rid of this flab....
After my last pregnancy it took me 4 months to fit back into all my clothes. It's now about five and a half months since I gave birth now. Assuming that all my clothes really do fit and it's not just this skirt, I'm still not doing TOO badly.

Having Another?

Is it rude to comment on how close --or far, for that matter-- people's children are spaced? I have definitely done it, but I think it has to be in the right context like, for instance, amongst friends. For example, I know people who have had or are having a hard time getting pregnant. But I guess the question there would be why they are waiting so long to have kids and not why they are spread out. I know that when people comment on how close my kids are (twenty-one months is not THAT close), they often do it with sympathy. Like, 'wow, that must be tough.' I guess it's tough. Certainly, I have almost no personal time, which accounts for how often I get to blog lately.
There have been times when I asked someone about the spacing of their children and wished I could have taken it back. Sometimes it's better not to know.

Pregnant or Not So Pregnant

This doesn't strictly belong in this blog, but I thought it would be interesting to readers who are looking for posts on body image and pregnancy.

I ran into a girl I haven't seen around for a few years. She's always been a heavyish girl. She got really big after she got married and had baby one and two. We talked a little bit about what we've each been up to. She was lookng pretty much the same as last time I saw her. Then she let the bomb drop. Something about "with this baby..." while indicating her stomach. I know she noticed the look of shock that crossed my face. Even though I now knew she was pregnant, she didn't look pregnant to me. Especially the advanced stages that she'd just confessed to. She simply looked like her regular heavy self. She was wearing a winter coat but it was open. Maybe that's what was hiding her maternal shape. I tried to cover it up without starting at her belly. "You look great!" I said (I meant it too). And I tried to change the subject. I think it worked. But it's not the first time that I made a pregnant or just recently birthed mom faux pas. By my count it's the fourth. I've had some real doozies.
But this incident made me wonder-- did she get pregnant five years after her last child because she lost weight? Is her heaviness now all baby or is it just not popping that much? I don't dare ask.

Back To the Weighting Game

I just weighed myself for the first time in several months. I've been evaluating by back-to-pre-baby shape by the way my clothes fit, which is probably the best yardstick. However, it's always interesting to see how things are going in the weight department as well.

Well, the big news is that I'm at my pre-baby weight! About 138 or 139 lbs, assuming that my sister's scale is correct and that it corroborates with the scales I've been using since I gave birth. It took me four months to get here, or maybe less considering that I may have been sitting at this weight for a while and not known it. This is also how long it took me in my last pregnancy.

But before you pull out the balloons and streamers, note that my favorite skirt, which I managed to get on over my hips, is still barely closing and I actually busted the hook and eye thingy that holds it shut. I still have this belly. I'm back at my regular weight but I seem to have traded muscle for fat. Muscle is heavier. I'll have to start doing crunches or something. I can't stand the way things look across my middle. Also, my hips still look wide to me, though there's no real way of telling if they're back or not, or if they ever will be. At this stage after my last pregnancy I was back in my regular clothes. Well, it's okay. I am a bit older now and this is my second kid and it's okay for our bodies to change a bit as we get older. I just don't have the cash to restock my entire wardrobe right now.

postpartum hair loss

My hair was gorgeous during my pregnancy. I really enjoyed it. Now it is once again all over the house, the baby, my hands, everything. I am shedding like a cat. A sheddy cat. You'd think that at this rate I wouldn't have any hair left at all but it looks pretty much the same as usual, I guess. They say you lose about 100 hairs per day anyway. I'm probably losing about three times that amount, minimum. At leat this time 'round my hair is reasonably trimmed so that it's easy to brush. Last time I had to cut off 10 inches when my baby was 6 months old because it was taking me three-quarters of a hour each time to brush it and the resulting hairballs were as big as my fist. Guess I'll just have to wait for my hormones to rebalance themselves.

After Birth Belly

I remember worrying so much about my after birth belly last time 'round. I did eventually go back to my original flat tummy, but it was never quite as firm as it had been, though I think it was only noticeable to me. Bellys are soft immediately after birth but they slowly do shrink back. I think that now that it's been 3 months since my second child was born, I'm softer at this stage than I was at this time after the last baby. I might actually have to do some exercises to tighten it up a bit. But who's got the time with two kids to look after? I suppose I could do it if I really wanted to. Instead, I've taken to wearing -- what are those tights called again?? The kind that sucks your tummy in. Not support hose... I have to go look in my drawer and see if there are any... though really any pantyhose or tights or leggings will do it. It's not comfortable but you have to wear them way high up to your rib cage and voila! No belly.

Aha. Control top. That's what they're called.

P.S. Let it be known that my husband loves my belly. Which makes it all that much easier for me to put off the sit-ups....

Weight! Size! It's three months later.

Well, it's been three moons since I had the baby. Although she doesn't latch well, that doesn't seem to impede her eating. After my last pregnancy I was able to fit into my clothes again at four months. This time I'm still wearing bigger-size things but people are commenting on how skinny I am. I think that maybe my hips haven't gone back to where they were, because my weight has pretty much dropped down but I still don't fit into my favorite jean skirt (which was the same yardstick I used the last time 'round.) Also I have a bit of a tummy which is really annoying. DH doesn't mind it, but I do. It makes my shirt ride up and I think it sticks out too much compared to how big my boobs are-- which they aren't. I shouldn't complain. Some women don't go back. My sister says that she doesn't drop back entirely until after she finishes breastfeeding. That would really suck.

With Regards To Labor and Delivery

I just wanted to add something or, rather, emphasize something with regards to my labor and delivery story from a few days ago. Laboring at home for as long as possible was the best thing I ever did.
Right up until the moment I got in the car to go to the hospital, I was folding laundry, packing a hospital bag for my DH, playing with my son, checking my e-mail, blogging, and watching videos online that my sister was trying to entertain me with. It was not a panicked, clinical experience with people standing over me and monitoring me. It was almost enjoyable-- except for the pain. I was able to get into whatever positions I wanted to get through contractions. I could move around at will from room to room. I could eat and drink, and I did, knowing that I wouldn't be able to until after I had the baby and then only at the next hospital mealtime.
Maybe I was only able to do this because my contractions did not get really bad until the very end, but I have no point of comparison since I didn't go into labor naturally last time so I don't know what it's like otherwise.
Maybe I said all this already. But it makes me so happy to think about it.

Hair Hair

That great hair feeling I was enjoying throughout my pregnancy? No more. I've already begun finding long, wavy stray hairs on my clothes and on baby, and I don't think it's my new conditioner at fault here. It's those postpartum hormones making my nails crack and my hair fall out. Last time 'round, I had to cut my very very long hair after six months because it was taking me at least forty minutes to brush it every time I washed it and I just couldn't afford the time. The hair would fall out and get tangled in there. I would have to stop several times during the brushing and pull handfulls of hair out of my brush. My hair is very tangled on a regular basis and so I'm used to spending time getting knots out, but this was ridiculous. Cutting it helped because there was simply less to get tangled.
I got my hair styled about six months ago and haven't cut it since. I don't cut my hair very often. It's still in a stage where it's quite easy to get a brush through. Hopefully I won't have to do another drastic cut to get through this period.
Also, my beautiful nails from during pregnancy are starting to lose their strength. Sigh. There are some things about pregnancy that you can't wait to get rid of, and there are some things you wish you could keep.

Moons Forward - The Postpartum Months

I've spent the last nine months blogging about my pregnancy expeirences. And while pregnancy technically ends with birth, the effects of it go on. So going forwared, this blog is going to address what it's like to be post-partum. Physically, emotionally, and any other way.

For my breastfeeding blog, please see http://breastfeedingchronicles.blogspot.com
Soon to be updated.

Enjoy!

Progressing

Bloody show last night. And now what I was thinking of as 'silent' contractions from yesterday becoming real, non ambiguous ones today. I'm pretty sure. Things seem to be moving right along.

This whole nesting thing I went through last pregnancy doesn't seem to be happening this time, beyond the need I feel to just straighten things up. But then again, my house is rather messy right now. Last time at 38 weeks I was scrubbing the walls.

Oop. There goes another mild contraction. Damn. That was less than 5 minutes apart. DH is about to sit down for an exam. Maybe I should arrange for someone else to pick up DS from nursery.

Off With My Rings

With apologies to my husband, I took off my wedding rings today. I usually don't like to take them off at all and leave them at home. I feel that they are safest when they are on my fingers. But lately I haven't been able to get them off and they're starting to irritate my fingers and leave indentations where the swelling has gotten to be too much. So this morning I realized I had just enough squeeze space to slip them off, and that's what I did with a touch of hand cream for lubrication. It's been a few hours but the indentation is still there.

I was worried that in a worst case scenario my fingers would really really swell or else I'd have to go to the hospital for some procedure and then it would really be a problem. I think I wore them through my last birth. I remember having difficulty removing them only towards the end of the pregnancy but even then it wasn't so bad.

DH made fun of me for apologizing to him over taking them off. He is not sentimental about things like this (though I'm sure he's glad I wear them on a regular basis.)

Sling Thing

I got a new baby pouch that is meant to handle children up to 30 lbs. DS is nearly that much, and I wanted to see if I could carry him in it. It's one of those types of carries that is all one piece and that sits over one shoulder. A baby gets cradled in the fold of it and a toddler can sit in it.

I put the thing over my head and straightened it up. Then I located my toddler and held him at my hip. Now what? I wondered. I wasn't sure what the prefered way was to get him inside. I bought this thing used and it didn't come with instructions, nor did the website provide any help.

So I stuffed one of his legs through the thing and out the other side. At this point he was still intrigued enough that he didn't struggle. I realized he had to have both legs through the sling so he could sit with his tushy in the fold and his legs around my hip (at least, that's what it looked like in the picture.) So I tried stuffing the other leg in. This is where he started to lose patience with me. I persevered, though, and he was in, but not so very amused. So I took him to see what was going on in the mirror. Carrying him was ok. No matter how good a sling is, a baby weighs what a baby weighs. I felt pretty comfortable but I did feel the weight. It wasn't until after I took him out (at his urgent request) that I started to feel what a strain carrying him had been on my abdominal muscles, or what I imagine to be my abdominal muscles. With all that stuff going on around my belly area, I'm never really sure what's hurting or cramping or gurgling or kickign around.

I was worried that I'd done something stupid. I had oligohydramnios in my last pregnancy (lack of amniotic fluid) and there's really no way of knowing why for sure it happened. (Though I blame it on a nasty electric shock I got late in the pregnancy) It led to being induced a little early which led (probably) to a much more difficult birth and a longer hospital stay-- I won't go into it now. So this pregnancy I've been really careful not to do anything that might put strain on my uterous, such as lifting heavy objects or doing too much bending around. I make an exception when it comes to lifting my son. But this sort of lifting is not the kind I'm used to after nine months of near inactivity. I felt as though I'd pulled a muscle-- something I wouldn't normally worry about but it's not hard to find things to worry about in pregnancy. Today I feel a lot better and the strain is gone. But still I don't think I'll be using the sling again until after the baby is born.

Dry Nipples and Cream

This post was republished from http://breastfeedingchronicles.blogspot.com . It's about me. I thought it would be relevant here as well.

I am very bad at doing all these girly things like putting lotion on after a shower -- or ever. When I'm pregnant I make a bigger effort with my cocoa butter lotion in order to prevent stretch marks. I know, I know, there's no guarantee-- but I didn't get stretch marks last time. Of course, last time I didn't get nearly as big as I am this time. To give you an idea of how little I use ceram, I've had the same bottle of Palmers since we got married and now we're on our second kid. Do the math yourself. I bought another bottle when I was pregnant last time but it's still sitting new in my cupboard. And I don't only use it during pregnancy. I used it on my face in the winter when the heaters and the breastfeeding were making me so dry that I felt like my face was cracking off.Back to my nipples. The point is, they're dry and cracked. I don't think it's thrush but I don't want to take the chance. But I also don't feel like putting lotion on. Truth is, I just plain forget all about it. Who thinks about dry nipples until they take their shirt off. And if I'm taking my shirt off, I'm probably on my way to bed and I don't have the energy for nipple rubbing, or else it's morning and I have better things to do, like chase after my DS to get him dressed for kindergarten. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if this clears itself up like it did last time. Actually, maybe I was a little more diligent about it last time. I recall using baby oil or something. Or was that on my itchy scalp?

Biding My Time 'till Baby

Despite certain discomforts (big belly, big feet, painful cheek), I am not in any rush for this baby to come out. I want it to come at the right time, in a natural way. Because of the nightmare with my last baby-- he was induced and it was horrible-- I don't care if I go all the way to 42 weeks. I just want it to happen naturally. Also, I want to know what the experience of having a baby feels like without all the added drugs and tubes and monitors. I want to know how I handle it. Will I break down and ask for an epidural like I did last time after several hours of non-retreating pain due to the artificially introduced hormones? Will the baby come quick and easy? I want to know. But I don't want to know until the baby is ready to come out. I always harbor some sense of guilt that we pulled DS out before he was ready to go. I am reconciled to the fact that he may have been in distress and that it was the best way to go at the time, but there are always the vestiges of heart over mind to deal with.