Highs and Lows

For most of this pregnancy, my stomach was so high that my boobs rested on it if I sat slouchily-- which I have been known to do. A couple of weeks ago my stomach suddenly dropped, much to DH's concern. I look much smaller now. But now the tummy is resting on my lap!

I don't remember such a dramatic change happening in my previous pregnancies. Well, they say that each one is unique and each of mine have definitely been different from each other.

One thing that is consistent from the last pregnancy to this one is that my face has grown fat now towards the end. SORRY-- I mean, I have filled out. Don't want to cause angst to any first time pregolas reading this blog (assuming anyone reads it). Don't worry, it's just water (or chocolate) and it'll go away as soon as the baby is born.

Showing Whom?

We finally told our families last week about the pregnancies. My mother-in-law, who is pissed at me for a related argument, retreated to the kitchen and muttered things about 'I told you so.'
Oh, the way we did it was that we handed my 3 year-old DS the ultrasound picture and he was to hand it to her. Which he did. She looked at it and handed it to her housekeeper/friend who said 'oh, this is (my niece's) old ultrasound. It's been around for 3 years." I told her to look closer. And she did... The truth eventually came out. We had family over from out of town and everyone was assembled at my in-laws. Everyone came and congratulated me and gave kisses and things. Bleh. Congratulate me when it comes out. For now just back off an hope I don't barf on you. Oh, and order me non raw sushis.
I would have preferred launching the news with a single phone call to each in-law household and then waiting for the news to spread viraly, which it surely would have in ten minutes, maximum. I'm really not one for show-and-tell when it comes to my body. Especially since everyone kept saying 'oh yeah, you're showing!' When just hours before they were saying 'you're so thin.' So much for objectivity. I gave my husband permission to do it this way because the last two pregnancies were announced, I believe, over Skype since we were out of town. I grined, bared it, and then hustled out of there as soon as was respectfully possible. Bleh.

Brazil Belly

I weighed myself yesterday. All scales say different things and this was one of those quite unreliable digital ones that give you two different results in a ten second span. However I clocked in between 62 and 63.5 consistently over the time I was using that scale. Which puts me in at about 2.5 kg or 6lbs over where I would like myself to be. On the other hand, we are on vacation and I've been pigging out.

Remember The Tooth?

I thought that my pregnancy woes would end after I gave birth but no, some things linger on (besides my muffin top.)

Faithful readers will recall that I had more than a wee bit of trouble with my teeth during pregnancy. Well, my post pregnancy teeth weren't fully recovered. The one tooth I had treated was still sensitive until last week when all of a sudden the pain went away. Odd. Then I developed a bump on my gum just above that tooth. Odder. Actually, a bump on your gum is kind of scary. To make a long story short, it turned out to be an abscess-- a bubble of infection above my now necrotic tooth and I had to get a root canal in it. Turns out I'd had an infection there probably the whole time which eventually reached the bone. The tooth then died. Most unpleasant and, worse, expensive. I've become an avid flosser.

If the Skirt Fits

It fits! The skirt that I've been thinking should fit me but hadn't until now... fits! Which means that other clothes that depend on my hip breath should fit too!! Celebrate! My wardrobe and I are reunited. Now if I can only get toned up a bit and rid of this flab....
After my last pregnancy it took me 4 months to fit back into all my clothes. It's now about five and a half months since I gave birth now. Assuming that all my clothes really do fit and it's not just this skirt, I'm still not doing TOO badly.

Pregnant or Not So Pregnant

This doesn't strictly belong in this blog, but I thought it would be interesting to readers who are looking for posts on body image and pregnancy.

I ran into a girl I haven't seen around for a few years. She's always been a heavyish girl. She got really big after she got married and had baby one and two. We talked a little bit about what we've each been up to. She was lookng pretty much the same as last time I saw her. Then she let the bomb drop. Something about "with this baby..." while indicating her stomach. I know she noticed the look of shock that crossed my face. Even though I now knew she was pregnant, she didn't look pregnant to me. Especially the advanced stages that she'd just confessed to. She simply looked like her regular heavy self. She was wearing a winter coat but it was open. Maybe that's what was hiding her maternal shape. I tried to cover it up without starting at her belly. "You look great!" I said (I meant it too). And I tried to change the subject. I think it worked. But it's not the first time that I made a pregnant or just recently birthed mom faux pas. By my count it's the fourth. I've had some real doozies.
But this incident made me wonder-- did she get pregnant five years after her last child because she lost weight? Is her heaviness now all baby or is it just not popping that much? I don't dare ask.

Back To the Weighting Game

I just weighed myself for the first time in several months. I've been evaluating by back-to-pre-baby shape by the way my clothes fit, which is probably the best yardstick. However, it's always interesting to see how things are going in the weight department as well.

Well, the big news is that I'm at my pre-baby weight! About 138 or 139 lbs, assuming that my sister's scale is correct and that it corroborates with the scales I've been using since I gave birth. It took me four months to get here, or maybe less considering that I may have been sitting at this weight for a while and not known it. This is also how long it took me in my last pregnancy.

But before you pull out the balloons and streamers, note that my favorite skirt, which I managed to get on over my hips, is still barely closing and I actually busted the hook and eye thingy that holds it shut. I still have this belly. I'm back at my regular weight but I seem to have traded muscle for fat. Muscle is heavier. I'll have to start doing crunches or something. I can't stand the way things look across my middle. Also, my hips still look wide to me, though there's no real way of telling if they're back or not, or if they ever will be. At this stage after my last pregnancy I was back in my regular clothes. Well, it's okay. I am a bit older now and this is my second kid and it's okay for our bodies to change a bit as we get older. I just don't have the cash to restock my entire wardrobe right now.

After Birth Belly

I remember worrying so much about my after birth belly last time 'round. I did eventually go back to my original flat tummy, but it was never quite as firm as it had been, though I think it was only noticeable to me. Bellys are soft immediately after birth but they slowly do shrink back. I think that now that it's been 3 months since my second child was born, I'm softer at this stage than I was at this time after the last baby. I might actually have to do some exercises to tighten it up a bit. But who's got the time with two kids to look after? I suppose I could do it if I really wanted to. Instead, I've taken to wearing -- what are those tights called again?? The kind that sucks your tummy in. Not support hose... I have to go look in my drawer and see if there are any... though really any pantyhose or tights or leggings will do it. It's not comfortable but you have to wear them way high up to your rib cage and voila! No belly.

Aha. Control top. That's what they're called.

P.S. Let it be known that my husband loves my belly. Which makes it all that much easier for me to put off the sit-ups....

Weight! Size! It's three months later.

Well, it's been three moons since I had the baby. Although she doesn't latch well, that doesn't seem to impede her eating. After my last pregnancy I was able to fit into my clothes again at four months. This time I'm still wearing bigger-size things but people are commenting on how skinny I am. I think that maybe my hips haven't gone back to where they were, because my weight has pretty much dropped down but I still don't fit into my favorite jean skirt (which was the same yardstick I used the last time 'round.) Also I have a bit of a tummy which is really annoying. DH doesn't mind it, but I do. It makes my shirt ride up and I think it sticks out too much compared to how big my boobs are-- which they aren't. I shouldn't complain. Some women don't go back. My sister says that she doesn't drop back entirely until after she finishes breastfeeding. That would really suck.

Cleaning Out My Closet

We're moving soon and the time has come to start packing up my stuff. Normally, this would be a great opportunity to clean out my closet and get rid of stuff I don't wear-- something I'm normally really really terrible at. I always think I'm going to end up using something again. And I almost always do. On top of all that, I am at this in-between stage where I have no idea what fits me and what doesn't and what will fit me in two or three months from now. I still managed to fill up about half a garbage bag with stuff to give away. And I can add a few pairs of well-used boots to that pile. But most of that stuff is stuff that was given to me over the last year or so that I've never really taken a shining to. So it's just skimming the fat off my wardrobe by a little. It doesn't constitute a major wardrobe turnover. AND I am itching to buy new clothes now to fit my current body.

Fit To All Appearances

Looking good at two and a half weeks postpartum. At least, that's what people are telling me. I went to drop off DS at nursery yesterday morning after going through my closet to figure out what I could now fit into. I think it's good to start phasing out my maternity clothes so that I have a real sense of where I am in terms of getting back to myself. Last time, I allowed myself six weeks to wear maternity clothes and then I put them all away and made myself face my closet.

Anyway, the skirt I wore yesterday was one I was able to wear through my pregnancy although it is just a regular stretchy denim skirt. The shirt is a very simple cotton t-shirt that I don't normally wear at all because it's so shapeless that I usually get lost in it. But now thanks to breastfeeding and my recent pregnancy, I'm a little more curvaceous and so I fit into it nicely.

The teachers and parents who haven't seen me since I gave birth were making all kinds of comments about how good I looked and how they look more pregnant than me.... I kept denying that I'd 'returned to my old body' because I know what lies beneath the facade of clothing.

The truth is, I'm fine with how I am right now. I'm not crazy: I just gave birth under three weeks ago. I don't expect to look like a runway model quite yet. I was somewhat surprised and pleased to find out how little I care about what others think about how I look. What really matters, as they say, is what's inside. In this case, I'll say what matters is what's inside my own head. You have to know in life to take things that other people say with a grain of salt. When it comes to the shape of my body, I guess the other opinion that matters besides my own is my husband's. So I'l keep it in the family.

Baby Bumpless: The After-Birth Belly

I should have done a day-by-day photograph of my belly. I'll have to do it next pregnancy. I'm talking now about my post-pregnancy belly. On the day after birth, it sagged like an enormous misplaced boob over where my waistband would have been had I not been clad in a hospital robe. By day 2 it hadn't changed much. On day three, by the time I came home from the hospital, it had regressed significantly. I still had a soft mushy belly, but it looked like the soft mushy belly of a soft mushy person.

Looking at pictures of myself from a day or two after that, I can see that I still looked a bit pregnant. However, within the fist week, I was already able to feel that I had a waist again. It was a very good feeling. I keep putting my hands there because I can't believe it. What a feeling! A waist.

Now, about two and a half weeks after delivery, my stomach is soft and mushy still but it's not so protruding anymore. I probably look like I could stand to lose a few pounds-- and I probably can. I only weighed myself once, and that was within a week of delivery. My stomach was down but my weight was still about twenty pounds more than my pre-pregnancy starting point.

Another thing is that I normally have very prominent hipbones. I wouldn't say that they are prominent now but I can feel them again. I also feel like my thighs and legs are on their way back to being what they were before I gave birth. I still think my butt looks big, but I've learned that a big butt is not necessarily a bad thing. Fashion models may have nearly nonexistent bottoms, but I think a little bit of roundness on a girl is a nice feature. I am normally quite angular.

My face has thinned out. DH observed that women who are about to give birth tend to bulk up around the face. I noticed this in a friend of mine as well who's about 37 weeks right now. She's a thin girl with a tiny bloop of a belly but her face looks swollen. Mine was like that towards the end, but it's thinned out now.

All this is without exercise or any special dieting. In fact, I just finished consuming an ice cream pop. I was all ready to start going shopping and wandering about town after the baby was born but then she got sick with fever at one week and landed in the hospital for three days. Of course, I went with her. We were all but quarrantined in our room. You don't want to wander around a germy children's ward with a newborn. I was totally paranoid about germs that whole time and also totally sedintery. I had DH bring me my yarn and I sat and crocheted the whole time. Ever since then, DH doesn't want me to take her out until she's at least a month and even when he's home, which isn't so often lately, it's hard for me to leave her b/c I'm breastfeeding. Pumping is an option but it's hard to find the opportunity.

Anyway, the point is that my body does seem to want to get back to its normal self. Now if only I could help out by getting some exercise.

Moons Forward - The Postpartum Months

I've spent the last nine months blogging about my pregnancy expeirences. And while pregnancy technically ends with birth, the effects of it go on. So going forwared, this blog is going to address what it's like to be post-partum. Physically, emotionally, and any other way.

For my breastfeeding blog, please see http://breastfeedingchronicles.blogspot.com
Soon to be updated.

Enjoy!

Up Up Up

Officially 77.1 kilos today. That's 170 lbs for you Americanos. No wonder I have trouble getting up hills and up the stairs (why oh why do we live in a walkup?) I'm carrying around the equivalent of a microwave oven strapped to my midsection.

The scale at the pool actually said 77.4 but I'm going with the scale a the clinic this time because... my hair was wet...

right.

I'm heavy. Hopefully this will all dissapear with the arrival of baby. People still tell me how skinny I look. Those people didn't know me 9 months ago.

Sling Thing

I got a new baby pouch that is meant to handle children up to 30 lbs. DS is nearly that much, and I wanted to see if I could carry him in it. It's one of those types of carries that is all one piece and that sits over one shoulder. A baby gets cradled in the fold of it and a toddler can sit in it.

I put the thing over my head and straightened it up. Then I located my toddler and held him at my hip. Now what? I wondered. I wasn't sure what the prefered way was to get him inside. I bought this thing used and it didn't come with instructions, nor did the website provide any help.

So I stuffed one of his legs through the thing and out the other side. At this point he was still intrigued enough that he didn't struggle. I realized he had to have both legs through the sling so he could sit with his tushy in the fold and his legs around my hip (at least, that's what it looked like in the picture.) So I tried stuffing the other leg in. This is where he started to lose patience with me. I persevered, though, and he was in, but not so very amused. So I took him to see what was going on in the mirror. Carrying him was ok. No matter how good a sling is, a baby weighs what a baby weighs. I felt pretty comfortable but I did feel the weight. It wasn't until after I took him out (at his urgent request) that I started to feel what a strain carrying him had been on my abdominal muscles, or what I imagine to be my abdominal muscles. With all that stuff going on around my belly area, I'm never really sure what's hurting or cramping or gurgling or kickign around.

I was worried that I'd done something stupid. I had oligohydramnios in my last pregnancy (lack of amniotic fluid) and there's really no way of knowing why for sure it happened. (Though I blame it on a nasty electric shock I got late in the pregnancy) It led to being induced a little early which led (probably) to a much more difficult birth and a longer hospital stay-- I won't go into it now. So this pregnancy I've been really careful not to do anything that might put strain on my uterous, such as lifting heavy objects or doing too much bending around. I make an exception when it comes to lifting my son. But this sort of lifting is not the kind I'm used to after nine months of near inactivity. I felt as though I'd pulled a muscle-- something I wouldn't normally worry about but it's not hard to find things to worry about in pregnancy. Today I feel a lot better and the strain is gone. But still I don't think I'll be using the sling again until after the baby is born.

Hair Hair: Pregnancy Bonus

I can't remember the last time my hair looked so fantastic. A bonus courtesy of pregnancy hormones. My nails also grow faster than I can bite them down. I could get a new manicure every three days... perhaps that would actually prevent me from biting them.

What To Wear? Getting Bigger All The Time

People tell me I'm all belly, but I know that's not the case since when I put my hand around to my backside to scratch my butt, I get there a full two seconds sooner than I expect to. That's serious bulk we're talking about. I'm counting on it all melting off beautifully when the baby is born.

Mostly right now I'm strapped for clothes. For a number of reasons, it would be silly of me to go out and buy new things right now. For one thing, I'm almost at the end of this pregnancy. But nothing is comfortable-- not underclothes, not maternity clothes, not stuff that actually fits, and not stuff I have to stuff myself into. I just want to wander around in DH's pajamas all day.

Mirror Mirror: Body Image in the Third Trimester

My belly has filled out enough that, besides looking like I'm in my eleventh month of pregnancy, I'm kind of balanced out. What I mean is that whatever bulk I've gained my stomach is bulkier so I don't look really fat any more. Just really pregnant. At least, that's the way I see it. And I look overall broader than I used to be. But most people besides me wouldn't notice that.
Baby bump? Hah! More like a baby mountain. I think that I must be using up double the calories to complete the same task as any normal person would be. Climbing the stairs,rolling over in bed, typing...
In my home bathroom I only have a small medicine cabinet mirror. In fact, the biggest mirror in my house is only a 1/2 length one which, if you stand as far back from it as is physically possible within the dimensions of my hallway, gives you a 3/4 view of yourself. And I don't often stand around naked in my hallway. So when I was staying at someone else's house the other day and I caught a glimpse of myself pre-shower, my shape came as somewhat of a surprise. I don't feel like I have a graceful arch in my midsection. I feel more like a snake that's swallowed an ostrich egg. An awkward sort of bulge where it should be smooth. Ah well. With clothes on I don't feel as bad, and that's usually how I spend my days.

Pregnancy, Sinusitis and Me

Prior to going to the hospital yesterday, I actually had a doctor's appointment for my terrible sinus pain. (With all the hubub of having DS in the room with me, I totally forgot to ask her about the edema. If you think of it, the higher likelyhood of edema and sinus pain in pregnancy stem from the same problem-- water retention. This has definitely been a problem in this 2nd pregnancy of mine. I'm hoping that a lot of the weight I gained is just water.

My sinus pain has been excrutiating. At times it has me moaning and walking around holding my face. Tylenol provided some relief but at really bad times it just takes the edge off, it doesn't make the sinus pain go away. It's not always terrible, but when I have a flare-up, it is just horrible horrible horrible. I can't do anything. I can't sit, stand, or lie down. The pain keeps me from talking comfrotably. I can't concentrate on anything else. It wakes me up if I'm asleep. I find that it usually creeps up on me when I'm doing something that doesn't require moving my head around too much. Driving is a big culprit. So is reading. Using the computer, for some reason, isn't that bad.

Last night for the first time I tried putting ice on it. I hadn't tried it before because anything touching that side of my face when it hurts makes me feel worse. But after the initial shock of the cold, the ice actually managed to soothe the pain in the nerve running along my jaw, which is where all the sinus pain radiates from. The first thing you would try if you are not pregnant is decongestants. But they are strictly forbidden during pregnancy. I'm going to have to try some natural remedies for sinusitis such as vapor inhalation and nostril flushing. Also cutting out dairy and wheat products which contribute to the development of mucous.

Anyway, back to the doctor. I finally went to see her and she gave me antibiotics for it-- amoxicylin-- which is supposed to be safe for pregnant women, but which didn't make me any less nervous to take it. I even called my OB and confirmed with him that it was OK. It was. It is. Which made me feel slightly better about it. The truth is that I have to do SOMETHING about this sinus pain, pregnant or not, because at times it renders me completely non functional, not to mention the complete agony I feel.

Here's the irony between my leg swelling (which doesn't hurt, btw) and the sinus trouble. The radiologist who scanned me for blood clots yesterday at the hospital reminded me that if I sleep on my left side, it should help the swelling in my leg. Well, because of the sinusitis I can only lie on one side for so long before the pain starts and then I have to flip to the other side, whcih causes the pain to subside temporarily but makes my leg swell up. This doctor said that it's better even to lie on my back than to lie on my right side. That was a fist for me. EVERYONE says not to lie on your back in pregnancy. But apparently lying on your right actually blocks blood flow while lying on your left allows it. Lying on your back is only bad if it causes you discomfort. I don't have discomfort from lying on my back so I tried it out last night. It wasn't as good at relieving the pain as flipping from side to side, but I had my ice pack, and between the two, I managed to get a few good hours of sleep.

My Weight

I was at the pool the other day, the one where I weigh myself on the scale that COUNTS. In other words, it's the scale upon which I actually gauge my weight gain, as opposed to the scale at my monthly appointments which I keep skipping/missing (this is, after all, my second pregnancy.)

I wasn't too upset by what I saw. I didn't gain too much compared to the rapid weight gain I underwent in my second trimester. The thing is, I must be developing a better attitude about my body because I can't remember the actual number. I think it was 74 kilos. I even ran into a friend who asked me how much I gained (we've known each other through a total of 3 pregnancies so we can talk about these things) and I remember telling her... I just can't remember exactly how much. Let's stick with 74 kilos. That sounds about right.

I know I'm much bigger now than I was even at the end of my first pregnancy just because of the way clothes fit me. My maternity clothes from last time are all less comfortable and they don't fit the way I want them to-- though I guess I wouldn't exactly call them small.