... as the old saying goes. The truth is, I'm not quite sure that I am pregnant. So far, it has been confirmed by two solid lines on a budget-pregnancy test, and more recently, constant nausea and exhaustion. I'm still breastfeeding and, let's just say that I hadn't quite become regular before any signs of fertility that might have been suddenly disappeared. I guess you can say that the above symptoms have reconfirmed my confidence in my ovarian function, but I'm still waiting on a doctor's appointment to tell me that it's not just some kind of virus and it will pass.
I mean, think about it. If any non-pregnant person felt the way I have been feeling lately, they'd be considered quite the sick puppy. They wouldn't be expected to wash dishes or make dinner or change diapers or go to work. They'd be tucked away in bed and told to take it easy. Don't get me wrong. DH (that's Dear Husband for Blog newbies) has not once complained about the still-unpacked weekend bag spilling out all over our bedroom floor from two weeks ago and last night he cheerfully washed all the dishes when I was feeling overwhelmed, but still, there are things to be done around here and with DH busy at school, I'm the one who mostly has to do them.
He keeps telling me that last time it was way worse. The truth is, I remember being far more tired for a couple of months last time. I could hardly stand up to shower. I had to put a little step-stool in our shower stall so that I could take frequent breaks. Of course, that was when we were living in the dorms and had hot water on demand so maybe I was a little reckless with the temperature. Our lives are not as luxurious in that way right now. I do remember falling fast asleep in the middle of an online class that I was teaching. My students woke me up a few minutes later and I made up some excuse about technical difficulties. Also, last time the nausea was much more acute. I'd feel terrible and then I'd barf. This happened a total of ten times or less. Then I'd feel better. This time, there's been no barf, but nausea has been following me around like a hungry dog with big eyes. Sometimes it's in my face, sometimes it's just around the corner, but it's always lurking. And as for being tired, so far it's been mostly that I have energy in the mornings but then I crash at least once in the afternoon and then very early on in the evening. Sometimes I can't keep my eyes open after 9pm. Then again, our lifestyle is very different this time around. Most importantly, we have a baby to look after, and that forces us to stay active. I try to nap at the same time as him, which is advice I was given when he was born but it's only become useful now, a year later. I've also just started a new job and DS has just gone in to nursery so we are up much earlier than we used to be.
Assuming that I am in a family way, as they say, I don't have any clue how far along I might be. DH has calculated about seven weeks now, according to the obstetrical method. I am thinking it's more like three or four. Apparently one of those horrible, terrible internal ultrasounds will confirm the age if it's less than a certain number of weeks. I promised myself that I will never again do one of those, but DH is insisting on it so that we have some kind of solid ground to base charting the growth around. I'm still deciding.
This blog and the potential pregnancy is being kept secret, according to tradition, for the first three months. Of course at this point, when those three months are up is anyone's guess.
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