Baby Bump Part II

I've mentioned before how much I hate the term 'baby bump'. It makes pregnancy sound like some kind of fashion trend. And indeed, it has been that, at least amongst celebrities, for the past year or two-- or so it seems. I don't even own a television and I've noticed that the latest must-have items can be found in the maternity section. We all know what happens when a celebrity popularizes something. There are people who will go right out and try to get the same thing for themselves. Now, when it comes to copying designer fashions, those who can get their hands on it will do so and those who won't will buy fakes... whatever. No harm done. But when it comes to getting a baby bump, the only way to do it is by getting a baby inside of you, and that's when things start to get complicated. I'm willing to bet that there will be some neglected Anglelas and Heidis and Jennifers walking around in a couple of years.

Baby bump is so demeaning. You can feel 'cute' when you're pregnant, and you can feel 'beautiful' or you can feel just the opposite. Women don't need the pressure of the Hollywood industry to define how they should act, feel, and dress at this very sensitive point in their lives. Learning to accept the changes to your body and life are hard enough without the intrusion of Vogue expectations.

An ounce of prevention is worth...

I read recently somewhere that Heidy Klum typically gains 40 lbs in each pregnancy. The books and doctors all reccomend 25-35. Maybe she's a little bigger than the rest of us (that's why they call them super-models. ) but that's still off the charts.
Then today I read that Mila Jorovich (sp.?) went up 75 lbs when she was pregnant!!! She was nearly 200lbs when she gave birth. Nobody told her about being alowed to continue physical activity through her pregnacy, I guess. Can you imagine? She must have been a house (as opposed to a whale like me).
All I want to say is that if supermodels and actresses (what does Mila do for a living again?) get to go up that high, I have nothing to worrry about.

Baby Bump

I hate that expression-- baby bump. It's all the rage now. You want to stop teenage pregnancies? Don't make them sound so damn cute and desirable. Thinking of getting pregnant? Think risk of stretch marks, increased risk of losing bladder control. Think nausea and aches and pains. What 16 year-old wants that?
And it's not just the 'bump.' It's more like a bumper. It throws you off balance. It makes other parts of your body bulge. Your hips spread wider...
Look, it's for a good purpose and frankly, I had a great pregnancy last time and a pretty good one this times so far. But to make it sound as if a baby bump is the next hottest thing on the runway then they should just start making burp cloths and nursing aprons in Home Ec.

My Secret Birthing Plan

My last birthing experience was below par, I'd have to say.
I mean, at the end of the day, it went well. The baby came out, I made it out too... but it was a pretty shaky ride. I was induced a week and a half early due to complications and the baby just wasn't interested in making an appearance.
The hospital staff didn't know what to make of me-- a patient who doesn't blindly take their advice and quietly lie strapped down in the bed under the weight of various monitors and IVs. I think I kicked (or tried to kick) the entire staff out of my delivery room at least once. You'd think they'd be used to hormonal women, but they all seemed kind of shocked. They were nice enough and definitely knowledgeable but I never really want to see them again. Not that they'd recognize my face, probably.
Anyway, as a result of that artificial labor and delivery, I have decided that, barring all complications, I will labor at home until the last possible moment. I don't want to be around anyone except for maybe DH (but he'll want to rush me to the hospital at teh earliest possible moment) and maybe DS but of course he is too young to undersand what's going on and I don't want to scare him. I just want to have the minimum intervention possible. I don't want to be checked and monitored and prodded. I don't want to be ultrasounded. I don't want my membranes busted for me. I don't want to be told not to eat.
My biggest fear of birthing was having a C-section but then my friend just had one, and she's convinced it was a better way to go, overall. I'm not totally convinced, but she did help me relax about it a bit. If it comes down to that, and I hope it doesn't, then I'm going to ask them to install a ziploc or a zipper instead of stiches. V-BACs are so iffy and complicated. Why not just take advantage and make subsequent births simpler?

Already Ahead of the Curve

I was just reading some forum postings about people whose ultrasounds don't necessarily correlate to how old they think the baby is, and I forgot until now that it's exactly what I thought at fist.

Apparently getting an ultrasound before 12 weeks is the very best way to measure the baby's age. Also, they count the weeks based on your period, which feels wrong but I guess turns out more or less right more or less of the time. I mean, so far things are staying on the track they told me I'd be on.

I want to win this diaper bag

I want to win this diaper bag and one of the ways to do it is blog about the contest with a link, so here goes:

Eh. Feh.
http://www.thriftyandchicmom.com/2009/03/wisey-giveaway.html#comment-form

Let's see if there is another contest. I'm into contests. Let's see if the site owners send me something nice for free. I love nice free things.

I also want their other diaper bag-- I think it's called the Mommy's diaper bag or Ultimate by Wiseys. It's the one that can also convert to a backpack. I don't know if it totally lives up to my standards (they are high) because NO SITE has good details about this product, but the photos look pretty darn close to what I want.

2nd Baby: Siblings-To-Be

I was having a conversation with my coworker today about second pregnancies and firstborn children. She says that jealousy and some element of trauma are unavoidable. This is just what I'm afraid of.

My DS is so young. I've been trying to explain to him about this huge event that is about to take place in his life in a few weeks, but I'm not sure how much he's picking up on it. Then again, kids his age just absorb and absorb and you don't even realize what sponges they are until they surprise you one day by demonstrating that they've been paying attention all along. So I'm trying to soften the blow by starting to break the news to him now.

He is very intersted in my growing belly. He has definitely noticed something up with it. I tell him "you know what's in Mamma's belly? A baby! You know what's in your belly? Cheerios!" (which is usually the case.) I also say "One day I'm going to bring you home a baby. Do you want a baby?" He knows what babies are-- mostly from pictures. He can identify them, anyway. So I'm hoping he'll be excited when this new arrival shows up in his life.

The word 'trauma' is a large one, and it can be understood at many different levels. Trauma is necessary for growth. Look at it that way. Trauma can take different forms. So yes, when I bring home the new baby there will inevitably be some changes at home, but I've got to remember that even if it is difficult for him at first, it's better for him (and us all) in the long run. Like letting him cry a bit at bedtime. Right? Tell me I'm right.

Ring Update

Okay, my rings are coming off just fine now. It was just a scare.

Ring

Ohmigod. I could barely get my ring off last night. Then I was afraid of losing it so I stuck it on my other hand-- figured it was just a nighttime slight swell. Now this morning also can't get it off... barely. This only happened at the very very end of my last pregnancy.

The Best and Worst Times To Shop

The worst time to go grocery shopping, as we all know, is when you're hungry. Hunger can cause you to make decisions that you wouldn't normally make at the supermarket. One solution to this problem, by the way, is to just open up a package of whatever the first thing is that you're craving and eat it right then and there (and of course pay for the package on your way out). Another way to avoid this problem is to carry a shopping list and stick to it. Easier said than done.

Now, the best time to go shopping is just after someone agrees with you when you complain that you've been putting on weight a little too quickly. In this case, it was my obstetrician. When I told him how much weight I gained (about 11 kilo or 23 lbs and I'm in the middle of my second trimester), he gave me a little smile and said "well, you're only supposed to go up about 13 kilos, so you don't have that much more to go." I don't think he meant it in an encouraging way.

I went to the grocery store immediately afterwords and bypassed the huge sale on store-brand canola oil (which was, in fact, on my shopping list) opting instead for the high quality, low retention, omega 3 enriched stuff. I also lingered by and then forewent the incredible sale on the juice I always drink, figuring that I'd be better off with water. But that compulsion only lasted a few more aisles. Then I stocked up. We can't serve ONLY water when we have guests, right?

I told DH about what happened and we talked a bit about BMI and what the numbers really mean. I told him that I'm just getting over the feeling of being fat. I think that my belly has grown a little but my weight remained stable, which has contributed to a somewhat more pleasing distribution of surface area on my body. And I don't REALLY look fat. My face hasn't exploded in roundness. Just a little. The thing about pregnancy is that you just never know. You never can tell what is due to overeating and what is just baby. So we go by the standards and the numbers and, depending on our personalities, we either forgive ourselves or we don't. (I'm of the first school, usually.) Time will tell if the weight gain was a healthy one or not. Or there are also some people whose bodies have a genetic tendency to spread and stay that way after childbirth. We shall see.

In any case, it's about three hours later and I'm sitting here, stuffing my face with marshmallows. I guess the diet was short lived, but at least I bypassed those brownies at the store.

Waddle Waddle

I caught myself waddling the other day.
It's happened a few times since then, but I just want to state my defense: It wasn't the typical "I'm so pregnant that I can't carry the weight" kind of waddle, though the unpracticed observer-- okay, all observers might have trouble telling the difference. My waddle was due to sciatic nerve pain. I get pain in the tuches sometimes, especially after sitting in one place for a while. It's the worst when I look at the clock and realize that I have exactly three minutes to lock up my office, grab the elevator, and run out the door and down the street about a hundred feet to catch the one and only bus that will get me to the daycare on time to pick up my son. I missed it once a couple of weeks ago (fortunately DH was on break that day so he solved the problem) and yesterday it the doors started to shut and it started to move away from me as I was still about 10 feet behind it. I shouted 'wait wait!' and he did. But man, did the effort take a lot out of me.

I have a policy about running for the bus: don't do it. It always leaves me feeling rather ill lately. However, this policy only works in the morning rush hour when there are plenty of buses going my way. By the time I leave the office at about twelve thirty, the flow has tapered down significantly. In fact, I was lucky to discover this one private bus company that does a run down to near where I need to go at more or less when I need it. Otherwise I'd be having to leave work early every time I didn't have the car. It can really add up since I get paid hourly.

Sex

This post is about the baby's gender, not about my love life.
Around here, asking an expectant mom to share the gender of the baby is very common. I think it's rude and nobody's business and I hate it. But I do know the gender and we are telling people who ask, even though I privately hate them (temporarily) for asking. I won't tell a stranger on the street (then I'll just lie) but I will share with a co-worker or family, for instance.

I guess I'm influenced by the culture of 'evil eye'. I hate also when people congratulate me on being pregnant. I always say 'wait and see.' The real congratulations comes when a healthy baby and a healthy mom are delivered. And the real, real congratulations comes with healthy grandchildren. I'm only pressuring my toddler son a little bit so far, not to worry.

In this case, the gender is not what I wanted. I know, I know, as long as it's healty, etc. And it's true. I'm sure that once the baby is born I will love it no matter what, and gender won't be an issue. (Forgive me, my yet unborn child if you ever read this. I don't know you yet but I'm sure I will love you deeply and unconditionally). It's just that I was watching a video of someone else's kid and said to myself 'I don't want one of those, I want the other.' DH, who was listening in on my thoughts (they were out loud) reprimanded me. And he's right. And I do want this baby, of course, and I do want it to be healthy and happy and the gender really doesn't matter.

My sister wanted a girl so badly that she cried when she found out she was having a boy. I didn't have that reaction. Of course, now she and the rest of us are all in love with her little guy and couldn't imagine it any other way. Classic.

Of course, there is also just he issue of the mild but ongoing anxiety of 'how can I ever love another chld the way I love my DS?' I probably won't it will probably be entirely different. And that's a good thing. I couldn't imagine loving my DS until he was born either. And now look at me.

Munchies

Gosh, I'm so hungry lately. I have a love/hate relationship with being predictable in terms of pregnancy. Second semester, which I'm smack in the middle of, is supposed to bring with it an increased appetite. I eat a nice meal and ten minutes later my stomach is growling. I've got that empty feeling...
Gotta be careful. I went for a checkup the other day and she didn't mention anything about excessive weight gain, so maybe I'm not soooo off track. A friend of mine just told me that she gained 50 lbs --FIFTY POUNDS-- during her pregnancy (I'm sure it was 90% boob in her case 'cause she's HUGE) and she lost it all. I gained about 30 in my last and lost it all by 4 months, though my stomach never quite went back to being quite as flat. But I still looked good (if I do say so myself.)

More on Body Image

I think that in my last pregnancy, I was just more comfortable with the idea of growing larger. I think I tend to romanticize my last pregnancy a bit.
I'm finding that very tight clothes don't look as good this time around as slightly looser things.
By the way, I walked in to the office the other day and my boss said to me "my, you're looking plump." He hadn't seen me in two weeks. I wasn't terribly offended-- it's hard to offend me and anyway, what other people think about the way I look is secondary to how I think I look. But it is kind of a social faux-pas for him to say that, and I'm sure he was kicking himself for it afterwords. Sometimes things just slip out of people's mouths. My response was "you don't know the half of it." After all, I am constantly complaining about how big I feel/look. And then we got in to a discussion of twins.

Soon-To-Be-Siblings

The baby in my tummy loves it's soon-to-be brother. DS likes to play rough and rowdy and little fetus likes to kick back. It gets really active when he's around.

Today when I was dropping DS off at kindergarten, I picked up another little kid who was crying and brought her to the teacher. When I turned back, DS was sadly holding his hands up to me. I hope this is not an indication of jealously to come. I have real guilt about bringing another kid into the home. I know that giving my kid a sibling is a great present but logic doesn't necessarily dictate feelings. I want him to always feel as special and get as much attention as he does now. Of course, with a new baby in the house the dynamics will change and even if he has to share the limelight, he will also have an opportunity to love and care for someone smaller than him.

I am open to reassurances.

My Weight

As I got on the scale at the pool, I whispered "please don't let me be 70 kilo. Please don't let me be 70 kilo." Well, I was not disappointed. My weight turned out to be 69.8 -- a whopping TEN KILO (or eleven?) gain since my pre-prego weight. Oh. My. Gosh. That's, like 22 pounds for all you imperialists. And I'm only in my second trimester. I think I only gained a total of 13 kilos altogether in my last pregnancy.

Then I looked in the mirror and realized that a lot of it is boob. And butt and thigh. But my breasts are all of a sudden so-- breasty. Thank God I started out small because otherwise I'd be hefting around a couple of serious melons. Right now I'm up to oranges, but I'm usually not much more than a muffin top. Without a bra on, I have to keep reminding myself to sit straight so that they don't touch the top of my enormous belly. They're not saggy, but I do tend to slouch, so they kind of tip. I think I need to go out and get some new bras. How do big breasted women do it? Thank God for small miracles.

What To Wear: Swimming

This afternoon was hot hot hot so I decided it was a good time to take DS to the pool.
The only problem was the age-old question of what to wear. I'm not concerned about looking particularly sexy at this venue-- not that I'm feeling particularly sexy-looking these days. It was more a matter of finding a pair of shorts and a shirt that a)I don't mind wearing in chlorinated water and b)won't drag me down and c)fit.

I managed to get a pair of surf shorts up over my expanded hips and swelling bum, but it was so tight that I couldn't bear wearing them for any longer than a few minutes. I looked through my husband's stuff but men don't have hips and he and I are basically the same size when I'm normal-sized. So his closet was out. Then I turned to the pyjama section of our wardrobe (I keep all our PJs in one stack because we have limited space and not that many pjs between us.) I found a pair of my sleeping shorts that have a drawstring and that fit quite comfortably, but they were actually a little too sexy somehow. I put them to the side. Next, I tried a pair of knee-length sleeping shorts of DH's, and those fit well with only a minimum of geekiness (I'm more comfortable with geeky better than sexy, though I like to stay closer to the latter.) Then I came across a pair of blue boxers which kind of looked ok. I ended up taking the boxers and the knee shorts with me and then wearing the boxers. Turns out there was another girl in boxers at the pool, so I had company. Not that it really mattered. This particular pool at this particular hour hosts mostly retirees in little speedos and dimpled bathing caps. They swim with their glasses on.

Most of the shirts that fit me are maternity shirts and they are mostly fairly new so there isn't really much I would want to risk wearing in the pool. Eventually I settled on a t-shirt that is a carry-over from my pre-pregnancy days but is very stretchy and long and, happily, has a little hole in the back so I don't mind potentially ruining it.

Now the question is if I should actually invest in some serious swim wear. I do intend to spend some serious time there with DS this summer.

Birthing a Baby

Reading prenatal books makes you feel as though you're going to birth a toddler. They describe the milestones of each month and the achievements and progress that the fetus is going through. They even talk about its personality. So much so that when the baby finally comes out, you expect it already to be singing its ABCs. Instead you get a pretty helpless little infant. But one who delights you with cries and poops and soon even smiles.

Cramp Part 2

I was cutting my toenails this afternoon. Bending my toe towards the sole of my foot, which is usually the most comfortable way to cut caused a cramp. I considered trying to cut my nails from a different angle but I couldn't really get at them as well, so I just put up with the cramp for a couple of minutes and got the job done. Training for birth? No epidural needed this time? We shall see...

Now if only I can get DS to comply with nail cutting.

Cramp

Last pregnancy I used to get these terrible foot cramps. I think I've mentioned them before. They'd last maybe a whole excruciating minute until I could free my toes and the sole of my foot from it's painful grip.

This time I've begun getting cramps but much less severe and not limited to my feet. I get them in my calves and-- well, I guess that's mostly it. Calves and various parts of my feet. But they're much shorter and the pain is more tolerable. Some stretching usually gets them out within seconds.